lovelylittlelifeofmine

I dreamed of being a police officer since I was a little girl. I don't remember why? I do remember that in my eyes police officers were saviors and well respected. Maybe that is why I dreamed of becomming the police. Who knows? If I knew before I definitly don't know now. I was married for several years before going back to school. I was about 21 years old when I had my son and about 23 years old when I decided I needed a career. I went to school for six years and finally graduated from the police academy.
Whatever the case may be I stayed at the first police department for six years. I saw to much and focused on all the wrong things. In the end I started to date a man that beat me. Yes.....police officers can be victims of crimes. I have learned that you can not change someone from being who they are. Only that person can change who they are. Someone who strikes a women or a man is not capable of love. They are not capable of thinking rationally, they are not capable of being a human in a healthy relationship. You can not control their actions nor their reactions. Irrational people do irrational things and think irrational thoughts. Violent people are sick and irrational. Needless to say I had to resign from my job. I had gone against every thing an officer is supposed to be, do and believe. I betrayed myself, my department and my fellow officers. I lost their respect. Most of all.....I lost my self and my self respect. I lost son....and his confidence in me. I lost the happiness that he felt at one time and I lost his innocence.