Prayer

It is said that prayer can heal. If you ask, god will give it to you. Maybe not in the form you are looking for, but he will send it. I have been working for an elderly lady and her son who has down syndrome. She is an 84 year old, devout catholic and he is a 42 year old man with down syndrome. In the past several years I have made some terrible decisions and have lost so much. I prayed for some help and guidance and to my surprise I got it in the form of a sweet old lady and her handicapped son. Pure love, innocence faith and hope are alive in these two. I enjoy going to work and feel blessed when I leave. I needed them and they needed me. It is only now that I am realizing why God sent me here to work. I am not Catholic, however, she gave me a small booklet on the rosary and prayer. I say one or two Hail Mary's a day. There is a story of a man that went astray selling drugs and what not and a women in his life told him to say only one Hail Mary a day and it would do him so much good. The man later became a well known Priest that every one loves. Mrs. A tells me of the scriptures most every day and explains them so I understand. Not as a daily lesson or to convert me.....Just because it is who she is and what she believes in and how she lives her life. Because it brings her so much joy and I need it. I crave it. I want it. Somehow, God knew that I was in need. Somehow he knew she was the one I needed. I was brought up in the church. Baptized Free Methodist and Confirmed Lutheran. However.......I never understood until now. The power of prayer and faith. The love I feel alone from God is enough. I know that I am not alone. Every day that I work for Mrs. A and her son I feel so much love and faith. It is so inspirational, no words can express what I feel and many days, after I am home and reflecting on the day spent with her, I am brought to tears. I am under so much stress working two and a half jobs and attending college full time that I needed the guidance and faith. I am very blessed and thankful. I am now saying one or two Hail Mary's a day. I pray most every day and it feels good.
Tracie

What a mess

I have made such a mess of my relationship with my boyfriend. I must get my act together real quick. I have been trying to do so over the past two years and nothing I do is working. I get so worried and panic when I think my boyfriend is talking to an ex and they buy him gifts. Maybe I should but he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. We both are almost 40 years old and its time to quit the bullhit. What am I doing to him and my self. I do not know what is wrong with me and why can't I get myself together. I am loosing control of my emotions and I am afraid of loosing another man to my innability to trust or have faith. I don't like myself anymore and feel he does not like me either. Why am I like this? I need help!!!! I don't have insurance for mental care health nor do I have have it for prescriptions. The State says I make to much for any type of assistance and I can barely pay my rent. What the hell is going on? What do I do. I feel like giving up and..........disappear! No suicide shit!!!!! Thats not for me. God will call upon me when it is my time. I just feel if I left and never returned it would make everyones life so much better. I'm thinking another country all together. Just get lost. Go where no one knows me. I am tired and I need help.
Tracie