My heart is so broke. After 6 years my boyfriend and I are done, we are over and it is so painful. He got caught cheating on me and he was not willing to do what it takes to keep me and to work on the relationship. All I asked was that he call the women and break it off with her while I listened in on the conversation, he give me the freedom to check his cell phone things until I felt trustful of him again. He had to get counseling alone and with me and that was about it. He said he would not do it. He would not call her and let me listen nor would he let me check his cell phone or other stuff to make sure he wasn't cheating to prove to me he could be trusted once again. He said he will not live like that. He would not fight for me and does not love me enough to go to the ends of the earth for me. He would not walk thru fire. But I would do it for him.
In 2003 I was involved in a domestic violence relationship, got out of that after losing my career in Inkster as an officer, lost the respect of my colleagues and friends. I lost myself and my son. I lost another law enforcement job a year later and my son still struggled. Jeff got out of prison and found me and went back to prison. Now, I am losing my only friend, the only person I trusted, my home and my self. I am feeling like I do not deserve anything, I can not keep a man and they do not love me. I am such a horrible person, how can I even exist. I must be pretty rotten to live such a miserable life where I can find no love, no one to love me, to accept me. Why do I even exist?
